Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Handicapped Tailgater

They sure don't make old people like they used to.

At least not this morning.

As many of you may or may not know, I have a long, loooooonnnnnnng drive to work in the morning. I also split time between two offices so my commute is almost never the same.

Today's commute was no different than any other in terms of who was out there on the roads. We had the typical three commuters that one might encounter on his or her way to work.

The angrry man commuter...

The Soccer Mom that drives way too fast for her own good...
...and even the Truck Driver.
But I was introduced to a new kind of commuter today...one that I didn't even know existed; The Handicapped Tailgater.

The drive was just like any other today, with the one glaring exception that, at some point, someone pulled out behind me and sat squarly on my bumper for a good 15-20 minutes. That's not so much of a surprise, as aggresive drivers are all over the DC/NOVA area. What was surprising about this one was that she appeared to be an older lady with a handicapped tag hanging from her rearview mirror.

I actually remembered her pulling in behind me at a traffic light and thinking nothing of it. See, when I was a boy, I can remember very clearly driving a good 5-10 miles under the speed limit with my grandmother and slumping down in the passenger's seat because I was so embarassed to be in the car everyone was honking at. I tell you, I miss the good old days. This grandma was so up in my business, I thought maybe she was trying to chase me down to hit me with her rolling pin or something...and I was in fact going over the speed limit at the time (less I be accused of being a slow driver).

The moral of the story here is, when you're out on the roads, be weary of who pulls up behind you, because it may not be your ordinary angry commuter...it may be the Handicapped Tailgater.


  1. Remember in Green Tomatoes........old ladies are well............older, have more money and more insurance. I'm just sayin'. Stay clear.

  2. Well I know older women, but have no more to say on that topic lest I lose my happy home. This made me laugh and laugh.