Who Needs Vegas?

If you ever go to the suburbs of Las Vegas, stop by a grocery store and take a look at the people playing the slots there. First of all, it is a grocery store, so you've got people that are too lazy to actually go to a casino to gamble. Second, they're usually smoking. Third, there is just a general misery to that horseshoe of slot and video poker machines area.

Why am I telling you this?

I fear that I am heading down a bad path, and I fear that if they ever place smaller versions of Chuck E Cheese in grocery stores, as they do in Vegas with casinos, I may turn into even more of a degenerate Chuck E Cheeser than I already am.

Several weeks ago, my wife and I decided to take our two-year-old to Chuck E Cheese. It was a big hit, so we decided that it would be a good idea to make Chuck E Cheese a reward for successful use of the potty (it's a big deal, trust me).

The problem is that now, my wife and I are having just as much fun as our daughter and I am becoming a bit of a Chuck E Cheese junkie. Tickets and tokens are my drug of choice...and I can't get enough.

Chuck E Cheese really is kind of a mini Las Vegas, with much more on the line. More you say? Yes! Let me explain! In Vegas, you win or lose money. Fine. It's yours, no big deal. Sure, you might have some explaining to do when your wife sees $1,000 less in the bank account, but other than that, no big deal. At Chuck E Cheese, it's more of a "who is the best dad" competition. These kids rely on us dads to "help" them win these games so that they might claim their prize at the end of the evening. I must win tickets, and lots of them.

First up, the Football toss. 3 holes, 1 minute, rack up the points. CLANG, BANG, POW....2 throws made it in...two tickets. The game proudly proclaims "ROOKIE!"

Next up, Skeeball. 30,000, 40,000, 50,000...now this, is my game! 300,000 points later, 6 tickets pour out of the machine. I'm feeling like a winner until I look to my right and see little Sally knocking down 50k a throw and out-ticketing me at least 2-1. Ugh.

Game after game it's a struggle to win tickets. At the end of the night, 132 tickets later, my two-year-old gets a bracelet and a ring. Other dads are cashing in their 1,000s of tickets for new cars, bikes, dolls, Wiis etc...and I'm just glad my kid hasn't noticed. She'll settle for some plastic jewelry and cotton candy. But that competitive fire within me burns and I know that next time will be better!

It was. Problem now is, I've got a Chuck E Cheese addiction. I'm playing the chance games and winning  big. There is a Deal or No Deal Machine there and when I play, I draw a crowd. Every time I am offered a "deal" for tickets, I look to the audience for guidance. Sure, they're off playing other games, but it makes me feel good as I slam the "No Deal" button.

Now that I've figured it all out, I must go back....soon! So maybe I sneak a sticker or two on to my kid's potty chart to get her to her "reward" faster...whatever helps me scratch that ticket itch I say!